Introversion 101
by Melanie Joy Douglas, Monster.ca
Yes or no?
I am a better listener than speaker.
I have trouble making eye contact when I’m speaking.
I am a bit difficult to get to know.
I find small talk difficult.
I feel a bit worn out after I spend a night with friends.
I prefer email to telephone.
I think before I act.
I am considered calm and reserved.
I often have delayed reactions.
I work best in one-on-one situations.
If you’ve answered yes to 7 or more of these questions, it is very probable you’re an introvert.
About 1/3 of people in this world are introverts. Brain scans have even discovered that introverts process information differently from the majority of people – extroverts.
But let’s be clear that introversion and shyness are not the same. Dr. Siegmundo Hirsh, a Professional Coach and Career Counsellor, writes that “introversion is different from and more complicated than shyness; it is characterological, that is, it has to do with the innate personality structure of a person.” Thus, introverts are not scared of other people; rather, they find other people tiring. While extroverts get energized by other people, introverts need to be alone, to gather their thoughts.
Common behaviour for introverts:
- territorial especially with their personal space
- need time alone
- dislike small talk
- usually have only a few very close friends
- value privacy
- fear making mistakes/failure in public
- prefer written communication
- like to be prepared and hate being rushed
- think before speaking
- usually love to read
- are not necessarily shy
True, some introverts are shy, while others are quite adept in social situations. Introverts are people who, among other things, hold privacy and a sedate environment –for life and work- in high regard.
And while introverts can easily grasp what makes an extrovert tick (because extroverts are so public), extroverts have little understanding of introversion. For this very reason, interviewing and networking can be particularly stressful for introverts. Here are a few quick tips!
Introvert Interview Tips
Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World advises the following:
- Rehearse positive statements about yourself in front of a mirror. For example, “My boss promoted me six weeks after I was hired."
- Speak louder and faster than you normally do. Use short sentences, make eye contact, and smile at least a few times.
- Always follow up with a brief thank you note, and be sure to add a specific reason why you'd be thrilled to join the staff.
Networking Tips:
Most introverts feel that networking is putting on an act, and because they don’t want to feel “fake,” they often avoid networking altogether.
If the term “networking” makes you anxious – change the term. Think of it as a research project. Or, it helps some introverts to think of social gatherings as a sort of game. Their objective? To leave a social event with at least three business cards.
A few more ideas:
- Have realistic goals and move at a comfortable pace.
- Near the end of a social event, Hirsh suggests, make notes on the backs of business cards of people you’ve met.
- Keep track of your accomplishments, and go over them in your mind, so you’re always prepared.
- Pay special attention to existing contacts. They’re easier than meeting new ones, so they’re certainly worth the effort!
Introverts Unite!
Jonathan Rauch, author of “Caring for your introvert,” points out that in our society, being outgoing is considered the norm. We use words like “bighearted,” “vibrant,” “warm,” and “empathetic” to describe extroverts. On the other hand, introverts are referred to as “guarded,” “loner,” “taciturn,” “self-contained,” and “private.”
While it’s not easy being an introvert, introversion, quite ironically, is getting a lot of attention. The more people talk about it, the easier it will be for both introverts to feel better about themselves and extroverts to understand introverts more.